My dad was is the army. I hated moving every two years. Mostly because I feel heartbroken every time I make friends and I have to move away from them. With no promise of a future meeting. Back then the only way to stay in touch was letters. And I was bad at staying touch. And then life takes over.
When I was growing up, I was always very clear that I had never marry a man in the army. I did not want to continue the same thing rest of my life. But god had other plans. I met my husband in management college and he went on to join the army. The character of love is blind…. and so I went against my own words. I am quite sure god was sitting up there laughing at me. He was perhaps laughing all this while when I was making my life declarations.
Now when I look back at my life I see so many years of loneliness, so many friends lost and of course found. And I realise all this was my life lesson — my learnings for a life time.
Today when I have finally embraced all of it…. nothing seems to hurt. I can look back and not regret. I am thankful for the journey.
As a young girl I was also very scared of being alone. I went for a camp for a few days and missed my mom so much I cried telling her about it.
Yet after marriage I spent year after year being alone. I was not even a brave person. I use to be afraid of being alone in a house. But today I am so comfortable alone. I love being alone, in fact I cherish my alone moments.
At the same time I also love being with my family and cherish the togetherness. I do not run after a tomorrow to make me happy. Because the biggest lesson in my life has been that happiness is and must be found in the now. If you keep seeking it in future, you would only be seeking it. Even when it would be all around, you would be oblivious because for you it is in a future that is uncertain. And trust me life is never as uncertain as in the army.
In fact uncertainty is a major component of life in general. Change is happening all the time.
I looked for stability… to be in one place…. to be certain….. and all of it eluded me. When I tried to catch one thing another escaped my fist.
And then it dawned me as I worked with my chakras and the elements. That I lack the adaptability and the flexibility. I refused to accept this lesson for a long long time. And I found life challenging me every single day. The very minute I had be ready with a plan, life would come up with a twist and ask me to readjust. I had the choice of being stubborn…. but I was also realising that the one who had loose out by being stubborn would be me.
The person with the most flexibility in their behaviors will have greater influence over others.
This beautiful quote is from my NLP learning. It is something that greatly helped me in my parenting journey. But now I was realizing that in life in general it is flexibility that makes you a winner.
What cannot be cured must be endured
But then while enduring you do not really have to be sad and unhappy. You can practice acceptance instead. What has been served cannot be altered, but by altering our mindset we can be happier.
You do not always have to fight the currents. Sometimes it is fun to give in to the flow and just float.
Sometimes we need to reflect back at life. There are so many beautiful learnings hidden for us. When you will observe the patterns and stop resisting you will see a beautiful change.
Mindset matters a lot. And it takes a while to reach a constructive mindset. Do not expect yourself to change overnight. But reflect. Let go. Do not be hard on yourself, you will get there….